Angela and Loyd: A Baby Adventure

Marla's favorite toy

2011-10-25T18:53:00.001-06:00

It's been a while since we've posted anything

2011-09-28T18:05:00.000-06:00

new Marla photos

2011-06-15T22:45:00.001-06:00

Angela's labor story

2011-05-15T12:49:00.001-06:00

Marla Iyoko Ericson

2011-05-14T18:48:00.003-06:00

Marla was born 20 minutes after we got to the hospital today. Had we left our apartment any later she could have been born in our new Mazda.

7lbs 15 oz, 19.5".

She and Angela are doing great.

Day 54 Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-08T16:51:00.000-06:00

I awoke this morning to a my favorite Jack Johnson singing Banana Pancakes and Loyd cooking breakfast. We had waffles, eggs, and turkey bacon. Yum yum! It was a great way to wake up and I suppose our first Mother's Day. He's so dang cute!

Day 53 May 7 2011

2011-05-08T16:46:00.001-06:00

38 WEEKS! Hot dog! I could just pop at any minute! But I am not ready for my Lil' Dirty yet. We still have so much to do, and honestly a baby will make things that much more difficult. But I am excited. Loyd likes May 11th. I think May 13th would be cool - Being Friday the 13th and all.

Anyway, This is me In all my pregnant glory!

Day 52

2011-05-06T20:36:00.000-06:00

This was a baby shower gift. I do not remember the first time I read this book, but I remember loving it and crying. I read it again last night and cried. Now that I am having a son, I was more emotional than ever. I hope I have a good relationship with my children, always.

Tuesday May 3 - Baby Shower and We Love Claudia Party

2011-05-05T12:06:00.000-06:00

This is the talented, beautiful, brilliant, exceptional, accepting, and inviting, and any other wonderful adjective you can think of Claudia Bushman. She is an incredibly brilliant and intelligent Historian who was one of the first to start looking at Mormon Women's History. She is also key to the continuation and growth of the interest in Mormon Women's History. She is amazing! The first time I met her, I just sat star struck! But she is so kind, and easy going that it is impossible not to feel comfortable chatting about everything and nothing in between. While living in Claremont I have audited 3 of her classes and have done just a little with the Claremont Mormon Women's Oral History Project that she began. Her classes and the project have been enlightening, educational, interesting, and fun.

Several weeks ago it was proposed that we give a little goodbye gift to her. I was told a little later that we would make a party of it. Of course this was a surprise for her. I walked into class on Tuesday and was greeted by the most delicious and delicate spread of goodies! It was lovely. And then I was informed that this was MY party! WHAT?!!?? How kind and thoughtful and wonderful and unexpected! I was getting all teary eyed, and I am right now too! I have become friends with these exceptional ladies in my class and it has been great learning with and from them. I just audited the class, but the majority of them were taking the class for credit and I can tell you they worked HARD!

Come to find out the shower was Claudia's idea. That just made my heart melt. I have a deep and profound respect for her and she wanted to give ME something?! Seriously, I feel that is a great honor.

Thank you to all my friends that provided the treats and decorations, and time to organize this! And thank you so much for the gifts! I love them all!

The story gets better - class rolls on - by the end I was wondering what had happened to the money I put in for the scarf for Claudia. I thought " Now I know I didn't put in for myself." ahahahhahahahaa! (that would have been fine too) I seriously was inches away from asking what happened to the scarf and then the announcement came that this was in fact a party for Claudia! And Mrs. Claudia was surprised and pleased. A wonderful collection of some of her sayings and teachings were quoted as well as the appreciation to her and the class and the project that she started. It was lovely. Claudia was presented with her lovely scarf that was "oh so Claudia" and she posed so sassy like for a few photos. It was a lovely afternoon, and I am so happy to have been a part of Claudia's class and project during my stay in Claremont.

Lovely!

Day 51

2011-05-05T10:11:00.000-06:00

These chocolate pops were on the diaper cake. How cute! I don't want to eat them, they're too cute! (but I will) ;)

Day 50 - May 4th

2011-05-05T10:09:00.000-06:00

The Claremont 1st Young Women rock! My YW planned and threw us a baby shower last night with the help of all the leaders and other amazing women in the ward. It was a blast, and I have to say that having teenagers and pre-teens at a baby shower adds excitement and vitality that is normally absent. It was so fun! This is a "diaper cake" made by one of the Beehives. Sooooo cute! I can't wait to go to a baby shower so I can make this. Such a fun night!!

Day 49

2011-05-03T19:07:00.000-06:00

This lovely little darling was a birthday present. It sits beside the computer and really adds a touch of beauty to our hi-techish living room. I'll try to keep it alive, but the odds are against me with moving and...me. I can keep ivy's and bamboo alive. Anyway, a few weeks of its beauty will still suffice.

Day 49

2011-05-02T20:24:00.000-06:00

Loyd at 37 weeks....

Day 48

2011-05-02T20:22:00.000-06:00

My friend Aubrey, used to always have her 1 pinky nail painted. Every once in a while I do it too and it reminds me of all the fun we had. Loyd let me paint his pinky too! I love it so much, especially when he's typing and I see this flash of red. Loyd also lets me paint his toenails sometimes, but only with the light glittery color. hahaha My husband is so fun. I'm thinking of painting Durden's pinky red as well, ya know it'll be a family thing ;)

Day 48

2011-04-30T19:13:00.000-06:00

Ok- Todays post. These are the little shirts I bought for Durden in LA. I wish they would have had a bigbird shirt in 12 months, but the smallest they had was 24 months. I would have lost it by the time he could wear it. Anyway, I just love the bright colors of these shirts! So fun and happy.

Day 47

2011-04-30T19:03:00.001-06:00

San Diego Here We Are! Tuesday April 26

Mom and I went on a day trip to San Diego. It was only about a 2 hour drive from Claremont. I can not believe Loyd and I haven't gone. It is seriously amazing! All the bays are beautiful! It has such an old country feel - like an old city in Madrid. I loved it! We spent the day with one of my mom's friends in Balboa Park. AMAZING! You could easily spend 3 days there. So much to do for every age! Oh man, was I so tired after all that walking, but it was fabulous! I definitely want to spend more time in San Diego.

Day 46

2011-04-30T18:58:00.000-06:00

Monday was a pretty chill day. We ended up going to the Botanical Gardens behind my apartment. We walked around most of the 80 something acres and then took a riding tour of the more cared for area. They have plants from all over California even a few redwoods. The redwoods do not grow to their potential because they need higher altitudes and cooler weather, but they grow and are surviving. My mom was excited to see the redwoods. I'm trying to convince her to just plan a vacation to the Sequoias or the Redwoods and not give my dad a choice, but to go!

Day 45

2011-04-30T18:51:00.000-06:00

Happy Easter Sunday! April 24

Loyd said we look like 2 fatties mashed together. I say I'm hiding half his body with my gigantic belly! Easter was nice and relaxed. Loyd gave a great talk. (Which he should be posting online.) And for dinner we ate at the Brown's house (great couple in our ward). Happy Easter!

Day 44

2011-04-30T18:46:00.000-06:00

Saturday April 23 my mom and I were escorted through LA's garment district by my friend Angie. And boy wow! So much stuff to look at. I bought these cute little shirts for Durden. I'll post a pic of them. My favorite part was the street vendors. We had these great hotdogs that had guac and pico on them and onions! so good! And we had churros and also fresh fruit with chilli pepper. The only thing I would have added was the corn on the cob with the sour cream. I've always wanted to try that!

Day 43

2011-04-30T18:40:00.000-06:00

My mom, cleaning away. On Friday April 22 we had my birthday party. Alas I didn't get any pictures of it. But my mom made cinnamon rolls and bread and a chocolate trifle for my b-day cake that day. Holy cow! It was a whole lot of fun. Loyd slaved over the grill cooking hotdogs and hamburgers and I mingled with my friends. We had the party in our apartment clubhouse and another group was having a party at the same time. My mom got everybody - even the other group to sing happy birthday to me. HAHAHA it was the loudest, best, most awesomest happy birthday song ever!

Day 42

2011-04-30T18:35:00.000-06:00

Thursday April 21 we went to DisneyLand! We had a great time. We arrived at about 1:00pm and left at midnight. My mom loved it! I am so happy she had fun. She rode Thunder Mountain by herself and it was too much rollercoaster for her. I wasn't sure what her level was, because I rode it when I was 6 months pregnant. I waited in line with my mom for Thunder Mountain and people kept looking at me with worried expressions. lol!

365 Days of Pictures Day 41

2011-04-30T18:29:00.000-06:00

On Wednesday April 20th we went to the Redlands Temple for the Claremont RS Temple Trip.

365 Days of Pictures Day 40

2011-04-30T18:26:00.000-06:00

April 19 - Happy Birthday to me! My mom flew in and spent a week with me. It was a lot of fun, but man was I tired! On her first night here we went walking around the campuses - mainly Scripps. Which is an incredibly beautiful campus. My mom was so excited by the fruit on the trees just there for the taking. She had to get some! This orange ended up being SOOOO sour. All that work for a sour orange.

365 Days of Pictures Day 39

2011-04-30T18:23:00.000-06:00

This was taken a while ago - but I can't quite remember when. My feet became way more swollen yesterday! So gross. you can tell I was wearing my flipflops.

365 Days of Pictures Day 38

2011-04-13T21:25:00.000-06:00

Durden's first baby room decorations. Dinosaurs aren't the theme for his baby room - there isn't a theme. I just want to decorate with bright colors. I cut these out on my friends Cricut. (Awesome machine by the way!) Dollar store frames and poster board and here you go....cuteness.

The dinosaurs started because a good friend made Durden a baby blanket and burp rag with dinosaur pattern material. Super cute! I also have a Paddington Bear with a bright yellow rain jacket and bright blue hat.

365 Days of Pictures Day 37

2011-04-08T22:08:00.000-06:00

It's been a while since I've posted a pregnant shot. Here you go. And you can see my new glasses!

This is between 32 and 33 weeks.

365 Days of Pictures Day 36

2011-04-08T22:06:00.000-06:00

Up close and personal!
My in-y-out-y. Loyd thinks my button is gross because it won't make up its mind if it's an in-y or an out-y. I have a really deep belly button. On a normal, non pregnant day you can't ever see the bottom it. It's like my belly button is turning inside out, but there is so much inside to be turned outside, that it's not quite making it. hahaha

365 Days of Pictures Day 35

2011-04-08T22:00:00.000-06:00

OK - I know I fell of the wagon with my pictures. I'm not going to skip any pictures - even if takes me 2 years I will get 365 DAYS of photos! Hahaha! So i'll just continue on like there was never a break.

My friend Laurie painted and decorated my toes all fancy. Now even when my toes are swollen, I feel ok about it - cuz they are super cute!

Oh... and April Fools

2011-04-02T20:59:00.003-06:00

Durden is still in Angela's belly. And hopefully he stays there for another month and a half.

Durden Isao Ericson

2011-04-01T08:51:00.000-06:00

A bit earlier than we were expecting, but Durden is healthy! Angela is doing good too.

More details later.

Durden's ultrasound Feb 4th

2011-03-15T19:27:00.001-06:00

My life before marrying Angela

2011-03-08T09:31:00.001-07:00

Day 34

2011-02-24T19:36:00.000-07:00

More than 6 months ago I made bran muffins. Loyd loved them so much that 2 dozen muffins would be gone in under 2 days and I would have eaten 2 or 3. So I stopped making them. Tonight I decided to make them again. I made regular sized muffins and mini bran banana muffins. I would have added nuts but I'm out. Loyd is so happy and promises to eat no more than 2 a day. LOL. We'll see.

Day 33

2011-02-24T19:32:00.000-07:00

Wednesday I volunteered to help babysit for the mothers who are in cubscouts. Aneta and I had a great time with the kids. We played hide and seek the music makers, simon says, and we made music with the little tambourines and bells. The kids were super cute.

Day 32

2011-02-24T19:29:00.001-07:00

Every Tuesday I attend Claudia Bushman's Mormon Women's History class. It is very interesting, and we never cease to have great discussions. If you look in the corner you will see the one lone man in the class. Last semester we had 2 men. This class keeps my brain wheels turning for when I start school again as an enrolled student.

Day 30

2011-02-20T23:40:00.000-07:00

We have a new favorite comedy called Community. We are working on the 2nd season now. It is really very funny. It is set at a community college and 7 classmates form a spanish study group. Sooo funny. I think we watched the first season in under a week. Yeah - we are hooked.

Day 29

2011-02-19T21:18:00.000-07:00

Well, today marks the beginning of my 3rd trimester. Durden aka Lil' Dirty, is kicking and wriggling all the time. I think he kicks to the beat of music he likes as well. When I have Jack Johnson playing I feel tiny little kicks in the same place. Funny.

Day 28

2011-02-18T19:52:00.000-07:00

Oh no! Our first broken plate. I was at the computer and heard a crash and crunch. I thought it was one of our good pyrex dishes. No, just a small saucer. Whew! I thought we should record the beginning of the end of our complete set of dishes. :)

Day 27

2011-02-17T16:22:00.000-07:00

I was so happy to come home from the eye doctor today to a clean bathtub! Thanks Loyd. I have to say for Loyd's sake, that he does clean up around the house. Buuuuuut when it comes to cleaning the toilet, bathtub, or mopping, or any kind of deep cleaning...ummm...let's just say he hasn't graduated to that level. Now it is becoming more and more difficult and uncomfortable to bend into the tub to clean it, so Loyd will have to take over tub duty. P.S i knew he didn't deep clean before we were married - Nancy can vouch for the state of his bathroom in his single days. yikes!

Day 26

2011-02-17T16:13:00.000-07:00

Our apartment is beginning the metamorphosis process from a habitable location into a packing zone. Actually, we really haven't begun the packing phase, we just have been too lazy to put these boxes under the bed or in the storage unit. Beginning after my mom visits we will start packing up for the move back to Utah.

Day 25 Valentines Day

2011-02-15T11:42:00.000-07:00

It is our Valentines tradition to eat sushi. This is our 4th year celebrating sushi Valentines Day together. I still would like to receive flowers one of these days. Maybe next year.

Day 24

2011-02-14T21:10:00.000-07:00

On a previous post I talked about Harvard Ave and how one of the great things about it, are these trees and their gi-normous roots. I had to share. I wish you could tell from this picture just how great these trees really are.

Day 21, 22, 23

2011-02-14T21:04:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I went 5 days without posting a picture. Well...I have been out of it!
Top Picture - I started getting all snotty and drainagee and sinusee - so I kept my sinuses cleaned out and in 2 days filled up the garbage can with all my snot rags!

Well, then I developed acid reflux, which is now my constant companion. I thought it would get better, or I could ignore it, but then I developed this racking cough. So now I am coughy, and acid refluxee, and still snotty. Just today did I decide I should get something for the acid reflux. I am also cutting down on the common acid reflux culprits like dairy, fried foods, sugary foods, tomatoes, juices and citrus fruits. I don't know what I'm going to eat. I have been loving yogurt, oranges, and any kind of juice I can find. Sad.

And Finally, the 3rd picture. I began working on a quilt for one of my nieces several months ago and then grew bored. Well, her birthday is coming up here soon, so I need to get it done. I finished cutting out all the squares (164) and paired them up. I am making a quilt as you go quilt. Basically, each block is a miniature quilt. Then you put the pieces together with sashing - so lines of quilt in between each block and then the border. WOW! It is a project for sure. I feel bad giving away my first quilt...I have no idea what I'm doing, so it will no doubt be crazy looking. I hope she's not insulted.

Day 20

2011-02-09T23:15:00.000-07:00

For those of you who didn't know, I am teaching myself to play the piano. I have the regular practice books that I spend a great deal of time on, but to keep it fun and to keep myself challenged I practice a few other songs as well. This is one of the songs I am trying to learn. It is the simplified version ofcourse. I attempted the regular version...uh not yet. I was so frustrated. But this is just difficult enough. This is one of my favorite songs and I like to sing it to my belly. :)

Concerning the previous post (day 19)

2011-02-09T22:06:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I just crushed Angela 47-13.

365 Days of Pictures - Day 19

2011-02-08T22:58:00.000-07:00

This is our newest game. A Christmas present from Bobby. It is extremely simple and yet fun. And it is one of the only games...ok. The ONLY game that I consistently whoop Loyd's tail. He has won once and by only 1 or 2 points. We just played and I won 70 to 52. HAHAHAHAHA!

365 Days of Pictures - Day 18

2011-02-07T20:26:00.000-07:00

Aaaaah. Loyd giving my feet a nice rubdown. I guess I didn't drink enough water today cuz my feet were so swollen today. Yuck!

365 Days of Pictures - Day 17

2011-02-07T20:24:00.000-07:00

For Christmas we received an electric kettle. It boils water in under 90 seconds. It's awesome! My consumption of hot cocoa has....remained the same. But! It is so much easier, faster, and cleaner now. Love it!

365 Days of Pictures - Day 16

2011-02-05T21:57:00.000-07:00

Hey I'm starting my 25th week of pregnancy today! Loyd looked at me this afternoon and said "Wow! You're HUGE!" Not compared to other pregnant women - I fit perfectly inside the averages. but compared to what I normally look like. hahaha, uh, yeah I am very huge compared to 6 months ago. hahahaha! There are pants that fit me a week and 1/2 ago that no longer fit me now. Shirts that I bought for the between stage to medium baby bump are just beginning to get a little tighter (not bad yet). Today, walking up stairs really winded me. That hasn't happened in a while. Yep, I am definitely entering the next phase - the so tired of carrying around 30 extra pounds phase, and I can't quite get my breath phase. (No, I haven't gained even close to 30 lbs yet!)

365 Days of Pictures - Day 15

2011-02-04T21:13:00.000-07:00

Look at our little boy. We captured some good shots during the ultrasound today. My doctor let us video tape it. So funny. I love watching his little heart beating. Here it looks like he is sucking his thumb. His "business" was difficult to locate because he is breech; they had to look way down between my pelvic bones for his bum. So I guess he has graduated from Angeloyd to Durden.

365 Days of Pictures - Day 14

2011-02-03T21:31:00.001-07:00

Tonight for RS meeting we made bread knots. I really liked the bread knots. We made them with cinnamon and sugar, but I started imagining garlic and butter and Parmesan cheese knots. Oh my! The possibilities are endless! Here is their dough recipe and directions.

2 Tab. Yeast
1/2 cup warm water
2/3 cup sugar
2 tsp. salt
1 cup hot water
1 cup oil
4 eggs
7 to 8 1/2 cups flour

Tear small pieces(golf ball size) of dough. Roll into a snake shape. Roll and coat in melted butter, then roll into Cinnamon and Sugar mix. Tie dough into a knot and place in a muffin tin. Allow to rise until doubled. Bake 10-12 minutes or until brown.

365 Days of Pictures - Day 13

2011-02-03T21:22:00.000-07:00

In my neighborhood is a street called Harvard. It is probably my favorite street in Claremont. It is residential and just great. Every house has it's own personality - every yard is unique. And there are also these great big trees with hug bulging roots. I love this street. I love this yard b/c it is a jungle. I promise there is a house somewhere inside all that foliage!

365 Days of Pictures - Day 12

2011-02-01T21:01:00.000-07:00

Typical meal in the Angela and Loyd home. Well, asparagus isn't typical, but meat (usually chicken) with onions and some kind of vegi is very typical. The other day my mom asked me what I cooked- so I thought I would share. The asparagus was tasty but only cooked half way down the stalk. I was way to impatient and instead of cooking it in shifts, I just dumped the whole bunch of asparagus in the pan. Other than that, it was mighty tasty.

creepy

2011-02-01T17:21:00.000-07:00

I just received this email. And if it is sincere then I feel bad, but it was a bit...unusual, so I thought I would share. I wonder if this person just spams random profiles or just women...I don't know. But did he not see that I am married? Dunno.

Email:

Adebayo Eddie February 1 at 2:28pm Report

Hello..

How are you doing? I shouldn't have email you this way but I believe this may come to you in a way you won't like but please I don't want you to think of it that way. I want you to know I have no other choice than to email you and make my point. that why am going to make this clear to you and I believe you will understand.

My name is eddie from ohio. I am a deaf man. Am 6'5 tall. Average body. I am a lonely and also a single deaf man with no kids or woman. I am in this world alone. I lost my parent 8 years ago and since then I have been left with no family but then I have a girlfriend which I didn't know she's a cheat. I cought her in bed with my old friend david it was very painful experience. since then I have stay away from ladies. I use to believe that all woman are same thing. But some months ago I notice am not getting any younger so I change my mind to find a nice and caring lady that I can trust.

That why I came on here to look for someone. that how I came acrose your profile .reason Why I stop at your profile was because all the people I know that was called that same name you call are all nice people even my mom was call that name too and she's a very nice person.
I want you to know am a nice,caring,loving and giving person and I can gauranty you that you will be so happy to know me.

I don't mind to relocate in future that was my plane. if you think ohio is far to you.no plm at all I can move nearer to ur place in future..

Please reply me soon. I believe you are a very nice and sweet person. Reply me soon to brace91@yahoo.com so we could starte to chat and know more things about each other smiles...

Thank you so much smiles...

365 Days of Pictures - Day 10-11

2011-01-31T17:22:00.000-07:00

ummm - so it is much more difficult than I thought to take a picture everyday. We just do ordinary things that really don't seem picture worthy. So maybe that is what is so special about this goal after all - to appreciate the ordinary things and find what is special and unique in those moments. Here are 2 for today - even though yesterday I didn't take a picture.

Top Photo
For several days Loyd and I have been wanting pizza. We finally broke down. I ate all but 3 slices of the cheeseiest of cheesy medium cheese pizza. I could have eaten the entire thing, but I started getting a little heartburn. I figured even though I could fit more in, I probably shouldn't. Oh, but it was soooo good!

Bottom Photo
Since I no longer tutor, I have begun working for the publishing company Loyd works for. This is our office situation - view from the kitchen. There are pro's and con's working from home and working with/for your spouse. Luckily, it's not one of those "I'm your boss, do what I say" type dynamics. I am nowhere near humble enough to handle that. Basically, I just do the stuff that Loyd would have done, but now he has me to do those smaller, easy yet time consuming tasks.

365 Days of Pictures - Day 9

2011-01-29T12:45:00.000-07:00

This morning we had a RS board meeting. My calling is to coordinate child care for RS meetings once a month. We were treated to a delicious breakfast (I ate 2 plates teehee) before the meeting, and then we broke up into our respective groups to go over our agendas. They gave us little banana breads for take home treats.

365 Days of Pictures - Day 8 x 2

2011-01-29T12:41:00.000-07:00

I just realized that I skipped a day.

I was driving when I took this - probably not the safest idea. But this is an add for the 99cent store. It struck me as funny because look how loaded his shop is. There is so much stuff that it would be difficult to walk or to find anything. I thought it was funny because that is one of the things that I loath about this particular store. It is SOOOO crowded. And it looks just like this picture - every isle. So while this guy uses it as a selling point, I'm like...yeah, never going to that store. Funny.

365 Days of Pictures - Day 8

2011-01-28T16:04:00.000-07:00

So for about 10 months I have been tutoring at this great little place in Walnut - about a 30 minute drive from Claremont. But recently, I have been working 1 or 2 hours a week, which is not worth the drive. A week ago I handed in my 2 week notice. This is one of my students.

365 Days of Pictures - Day 7

2011-01-26T10:13:00.000-07:00

Loyd and I have a family tradition of watching The Daily Show and Colbert Report in the morning. We don't have cable, so we wait until they are available online. It is a great way to start the morning - with sarcasm and satire.

365 Days of Pictures - Day 6

2011-01-26T10:08:00.000-07:00

I forgot to blog this yesterday. But we are still on track!

This is one of the books I am currently reading. It's a break from my fantasy novels, this is a mystery. It is set in Sweden or one of those northern European countries. The names and some of the terms are very foreign to me, but so far it is a great story. I am already engrossed.

365 Days of Pictures - Day 5

2011-01-24T20:40:00.000-07:00

My new apron - a Christmas present from Sylvia. It goes well with my kitchen. :) I was digging in the cupboard looking for the cinnamon for our brinner - french toast. Yummy! I wasn't wearing any makeup so I hid my face. oh vanity!

365 Days of Pictures - Day 4

2011-01-23T17:39:00.000-07:00

After church Loyd and I enjoyed lunch, reading, relaxing, and playing Skippo in the park. It was such a beautiful day. I start getting cranky if I'm inside for too long - and I make Loyd come outside and enjoy the weather with me.

365 Days of Pictures - Day 3

2011-01-22T15:06:00.000-07:00

I went on a walk today, picking flowers on my way. And for my husband, made a tender bouquet.

p.s. I love winter in SoCal!

365 Days of Pictures - Day 2

2011-01-21T16:03:00.003-07:00

This is one of my hobbies - card making. I am trying to send a birthday card to every niece and nephew (i did pretty good last year) and this year to add my in-laws and immediate family. PHEW! As you can see, I also made a card for one of my friends who just had her baby. Fun times.

How we spent our Christmas vacation

2011-01-20T20:55:00.002-07:00

4,853 miles
12 states
90 hours of driving
30 persons in a single home
16 (+5 adopted) nephews and nieces
3 nights of babysitting 3 wild boys
ten extra pounds on Loyd

and a bunch of memories

365 Days of Pictures - Day 1

2011-01-20T12:43:00.001-07:00

My friend started a blog to take a picture a day and post something short about it. I loved her blog so much that I decided to do it as well.

As you well know, I am a sporadic blogger at best and just don't care at my worst...mainly I just don't care. But this could be fun. I don't use my camera enough anyway. 2 birds with 1...blog/pic.

After working out, Loyd likes to relax in a hot bubble bath reading from one of his favorite comedians.

Breaking News

2010-11-13T11:02:00.001-07:00

My Angela is pregnant with our first child. We got to hear the heartbeat yesterday at the doctors. Pretty cool.

Estimated due date is May 21st.

I am ok saying "I don't know"

2010-10-08T01:06:00.000-06:00

For those of you who follow Loyd's personal blog or haven't hid his Facebook updates, then you know how hard the whole Prop 8 thing was on him, and how last weekend's conference did little to boost faith in the church hierarchy. Especially Elder Packer's talk. Many, many people, members and non members alike, did not pickup on even the slimmest glimmer of a hint of love or charity from that talk.

I feel so many different emotions and I'm trying to make sense of it all, or at least come to terms with my inability to make sense of it. I often say "You can have all the truth possible but if you're a jerk, it sure doesn't matter". 1 Corinthians 13:1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

I hear people on both sides of me saying that if I pray about it, I'll get the answer. Both sides testify that God has witnessed to them that what they believe is the truth. It is right. Both sides actively attack the other hoping to win back those lost souls, and make them realize how they are hurting other people...now and for eternity.

I am one to believe that both sides can be right and wrong at the same time. I believe that "truth" is as vast and varied as the color spectrum. And I am also willing to say "I don't know". So, I don't know a lot of things. But what I do know, is that regardless of how "right" you are, that doesn't make your actions or words "right" or good or Christlike. I do not believe the ends justify the means.

I think that people are justified in being hurt by Packer's talk and by other horrible, untrue, and bigoted comments made by other leaders. Whether or not it is "true" that homosexuals do not have a place in God's kingdom - that their actions are an abomination, does not justify treating them less than full humans and children of God and citizens of this country.

And people are justified in believing that homosexuality is immoral. They are allowed to believe that their God does not approve. Nor do I believe that any rituals or specific religious rights should be allowed to those who do not follow the basic guidelines for admittance to that church. I will not step on any religions toes.

Regardless of how hurt or scared people are, they shouldn't react out of their anger or fear. Mocking Elder Packer or making claims regarding his sexuality might get a laugh. Spreading statements that homosexuals are inherently dangerous will not help us truly understand one another. None of it helps or succeeds at opening communication or to soften hearts. Or to heal any wounds.

If anything, pity those that refuse to look at their brothers and sisters as children of God who possess intrinsic value. Sorrow for those who can't let Christ in their live enough to empathize with the hurt and pain of their neighbor. Forgive those that refuse to see good, wholesome people because they are afraid of who they kiss. Don't condemn them because they are afraid of shadows and ghosts that seem so real as they view the world through dark, distorted lenses.

You can not convince any one of the truth. You can only lead them through love and long suffering and gentleness and meekness. Maybe one day we will all lead each other to the ultimate truth - to love one another as we love ourselves.

Matthew 5:44 But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.

So, I am still at odds with so many things. I respect people's idea of morality. I sympathize with the fear of the unknown or the different. I empathize with the hurt and agony and the loneliness of those who have been rejected by their families, communities, states, and churches. So many people have no one to love them; no one to reach out a hand of friendship and understanding simply because of who they find attractive.

I can't even imagine how it would feel to be barred from Loyd because "mixing" races is going against God's will. I don't care who God has testified to that races shouldn't mix. I don't believe that, so why should I live like that?

So, I try to forgive people for their thoughtless comments and their ruthless actions. I try to, so that I won't be bitter or angry or hopeless. It is all I can do to survive until I finally do have all the answers.

Haunted

2010-09-01T21:50:00.000-06:00

Loyd and I spent 2 nights in Las Vegas relaxing by the pool, sleeping late, and just being lazy before returning home after our vacation. We walked around the Strip and had a great time looking at all the lights, attractions, cat fights, and all the new buildings. (The last time I was there was about 6 or so years ago.)

On the first night we were walking the strip, and we came across a homeless guy sitting on one of the bridges. I saw 3 homeless guys the whole time we were there. I believe Las Vegas wants "their ugliness" hidden away. Well this guy looked like a kid - maybe 18...20 max. He was sitting there so forgotten and discarded. He was dirty and looked so tired and worn out slouched against the fencing. His sandy blond hair was dull with grime and a dusty film covered his tan skin. Everyone walked by without a glance, ignoring the reminder of sorrow and pain that was marring their bright, glittering opulence and decadence.

Something about him grabbed my heart. We walked by and I couldn't look away from him. I looked back and saw him looking at a passing group that had made a disparaging comment about his presence. The way he looked up at them...it was hopeless and ... apologetic. I said to Loyd that we should have given him something. We went back up the escalator and I gave him some money. He looked me right in the eye and said thank you in a soft, raspy voice.

I am still haunted by his eyes. There was an innocence and softness in his clear, light green eyes. They were such sweet eyes. I wanted to hug him and take away his sorrow! I wanted to find him a home...ANYTHING to make his life better! But what could I do except give him some money? I don't know what I could have done. And I can't stop thinking what I could have done for him!

I started crying right there. It took a bit to move him to the back of my mind. But I moved on...went back to my hotel room, had a hot shower, was held in the arms of my love, surrounded by love throughout the night (and my whole life). Now I am home; secure and safe and well fed...and I am haunted by that boy on the bridge.

I know you weren't there; didn't see him...but offer up prayers and thoughts for him and the millions of others like him.

Sequoia National Park

2010-08-19T10:38:00.003-06:00

Angela and I just got back from a great camping trip in Sequoia National Park with my brother's family and extended family. I'm too lazy to pick out select photos from the trip, so here are all 212 of them. If you click the slideshow it will take you to an album for easier viewing.

You can also see some of the panoramic photos I shot on my blog.

Thanks to my brother and sister-in-law for inviting us!

Fourth of July

2010-08-09T21:02:00.001-06:00

Finally got my camera back. Enjoy.

Engagement video

2010-08-08T09:09:00.000-06:00

We were recently notified of a discovery of a short little video that was made when our engagement photos were taken. Short, but sweet.

Great Day in SoCal!

2010-06-19T10:43:00.000-06:00

The beach is always a wonderful place to spend time. Even when it is overcast and far to cold to brave the waters, it is always a soothing experience. (However, the drive home might undo all those soothed nerves.) But Friday, June 18th was a beach day on steroids.

About an hour after we arrived we watched dolphins swimming in the distance. They were just beyond the break. Close enough to be near the surfers. We mainly saw their fins, but every once in a while one would jump out of the water and you could see its head and body.

A few hours after the dolphins swam off, a crowd was forming on the beach looking at the water. And then I noticed a large brown something with fins rolling onto the beach. Turns out it was a seal. It wasn't dead and didn't look to be hurt (it wasn't bleeding). So we joined the crowd and took pictures. A few times the seal sat up and waddled further onto dry sand.

It just looked around assessing the situation, then took a power nap. I suppose it was just resting because a few hours later, long after the crowd had grown bored with a sleeping seal, it waddled back into the water and swam away.

While the seal was making his departure, the dolphins returned. This time they put on a little show for the admiring crowd. We saw them surfing the waves. We could see two or three dolphins clearly in the wave riding it. Once we saw them jump out of the wave. To bad didn't have my camera with me. My phone couldn't capture anything that far out.

It was so fun seeing these animals in the wild. Much better than a zoo or aquarium, but also a little freaky. No telling what could swim up next to you!

Some recent photos

2010-06-01T08:51:00.000-06:00

Here are some recent photos from some of our adventures this year. Also, if you haven't yet, be sure to send us some of your memories from our wedding day here.

Wedding Journal

2010-05-24T11:55:00.000-06:00

I need your help!

I am putting together a journal about Loyd and my wedding day - June 19th. I want the experiences, memories, thoughts, feelings, etc from all those in attendance. If you wanted to be in attendance but couldn't make it, add that! I want as much information about that day as possible.

We had a friend who ended up being lost for an hour or so with grumpy kids in tow, and ended up not being able to find the reception. I want that story!

Somebody about kill themselves preparing for our day? Write it down for us, PLEASE!

It doesn't have to be about Loyd and Me, but about whatever you remember about that day. Reunions? kids getting dirty and thrashing their clothing...what do your kids remember about that day?

So yeah, I really need all of your help!

Email it to me or post it here.

A Late Honeymoon

2010-01-20T18:48:00.000-07:00

Last week Ang and I set off on a belated honeymoon in Florida. Our trip included a cruise to the Bahamas, the Blue Man Group in Orlando, and a day at EPCOT. Unfortunately the weather was a bit chilly during most of the trip and we only had one day of good sun--just enough for me to get slightly burnt.

Just as it started to warm up in Florida, we flew back to southern California for a forecasted week of pouring rain and lower 40s temperatures.

Here are some photos from our vacation:

Claremont, California

2010-01-20T13:32:00.000-07:00

Loyd and I made our move from Provo, Utah to Claremont, California about...1 1/2 weeks ago. We left Provo at about 5:30am and pulled into our apartment complex in Claremont at about 3pm. We rented a 16 ft Penske truck with a car tow. Yeah, it was a bit stressful driving with all our belongings and our car and a big fattie truck. But we made it.

Loyd's friends here in Claremont helped us unload our truck. They were great. We even had the little kids helping us. It took maybe 20 minutes to get everything up to our apartment. I don't even want to think how long it would have taken with just me and Loyd.

For the next 2-3 days we unpacked and tried to get everything organized. Then Loyd got sick. Now...we're about unpacked and organized. It might take another month or so to be completely finished :)I can not wait to not be moving anymore...or at least have less stuff to have to move.

When we got here the temperature was in the mid 70's, now it is high 40's and raining. Apparently we've some kind of noreasterly affect. Yeah, i don't know.

The college campus is nice. I love walking around the neighborhood looking at all the amazing houses. I'll get some photos for sure. I walk around and say over and again "I could love in that house. I could live in that house. I could live in that house." Hahaha.

The ward seems really nice as well. It's not so large that you feel like you get lost, but not so small that each member has 3 callings. And its nice that the Bishop was the 2nd councilor in Loyd's singles ward out here. It nice to already have a good relationship with the bishop.

I miss my family in Utah and also the comfort of being in the same place for 7 years...but...I am excited to make new friends. Now, its time to get a job.

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T13:37:00.010-07:00

Dec 31st 2009 - Loyd and I had the best New Year's Eve - ever - last night. We ate Mexican food with Jake, Sylvia, Tori, Macy, and Jake's parents, Wayne and Sherri. Then Jake, Sylvia, Loyd and I went to First Night Provo at the Provo Town Center Mall. They had a huge variety of activities to choose from. There were cultural performances, getting your hair done, face painting, sugar sand things, funny photos, make your own music video, a dance party, American Idol, and more!It really was a ton of fun and it was only $5. And at midnight there were fireworks. It was a great time and a great way to ring in the New Year.

Happy New Year!

Christmas Towne

2009-12-14T19:42:00.002-07:00

Yesterday we made gyoza and gingerbread houses with Jake and Sylvia and our friends Jeff and Shasta. Of course my house was the best of them all.

You can see the rest here:

Merry Elfing Christmas

2009-12-12T18:41:00.003-07:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Our Christmas Tree

2009-12-09T21:18:00.001-07:00

On Saturday, Angela and I picked out a small tree to set up in our equally small home. We then spent the next few hours making ornaments to decorate it with. I made the popcorn garland and star while Ang made the assorted ornaments. As you can see, it ended up being perhaps the greatest tree ever made by humans.

Yeah. We rock the holidays.

Wrestling

2009-11-23T11:43:00.001-07:00

This past Saturday I went to my nephews very first wrestling match. It was fun, sad, violent, exciting, and skillful all rolled into one. Granted, these were 5 year old boys wrestling, so the skill level is still developing, but still. There were several little kids that were just good at wrestling and you could tell they had a natural ability for it.

But do you know how sad it is when a little boy loses, or knows he's losing, and he starts to cry! Oh that made me want to cry.

My husband and his brother wrestled in highschool and they both loved it. Loyd told me how it is harder to lose when you wrestle as opposed to team sports because it is just you that lost. So I felt even worse for those cute little kids.

When I mentioned how violent the sport was, Chris said "Yeah...well, these kids aren't as suave as highschool students". And that is true. I remember watching wrestling during the Olympics and thinking it was really cool. I don't remember thinking it was violent. Ofcourse I was in highschool.

And wrestling is one of the oldest sports around...I suppose if it has lasted this long it must be ok. I also think that it can help focus a hyper and aggressive kids energy, and teach them the correct places and ways to use that aggressiveness. Because its not like it is cage fighting or just free for all scrapping. There are rules and techniques to follow.

Even though I see the benefits I can not help but be concerned with the unhealthy habits that also come along with the sport. Making weight for instance. I have heard from more than one source about making weight. Starving and sweating yourself, trying to get every ounce of water out of you so you can be the heaviest in a lower weight class. And then after wards binge eating. Not healthy habits. And I have to say, a little unfair and unethical as well.

Also, RINGWORM! That is sick. Those mats are germ invested fungus farms. Kid after kid rubs his sweat and spit up and down that mat and then the next kid laps it up. UGH! That is sooooooo nasty.

My final qualm...the unitards. They are not attractive.

So I still don't know what I think about my kids wrestling. I won't stop them, and if they want to do it I will be there biggest and most supportive fan. But I really hope they will want to do something else.

*Loyd edit*

Here is the video of our nephew's matches. He won all three with pins.

Macy Leona Green

2009-11-18T08:31:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, my sister Sylvia gave birth to her beautiful, healthy second daughter on November 12 at 5:19am. This birth was extra special for me because Sylvia let me be there! I was the historian: journaling, taking photographs, and filming. I arrived a few hours after Sylvia and Jake left for the hospital. I started journaling as soon as I arrived at about 4:30am. I just sat to the side recording what the nurses and midwives said, when Sylvia had a contraction, if it sounded like an extremely difficult one, little conversations between Sylvia and Jake, and other observations.

Sylvia asked me to take photos (she breathed it between contractions :) so then I positioned myself in a corner next to the bed. I was right next to the "action", but still on the periphery of it. Sylvia is amazing to me. She makes natural childbirth look easy. Yeah I wanted to cry once because she sounded like she was in so much pain, but she was so controlled. I couldn't believe it. She breathed through the contractions, and knew exactly what was going on with her body. She told the nurses and midwives what she wanted, and how fast she was going to go. She was in control of her experience and that was awesome.

So I had the video camera ready for when the baby was coming. That was funny because I didn't know when Sylvia was really going to push, so I felt schizophrenic taking a step to video, then instantly retreating back to my corner to wait. I did that for 5 minutes I'm sure. Well, it was finally time. I was able to record and see Macy being born. And WOW!

I was afraid it would be gross and I would vomit everywhere, but it wasn't bloody or oozy or anything. It was beautiful. As I was recording I became overwhelmed with emotion. I was getting all choked up over how amazing childbirth is, and how strong Sylvia is, and how the whole thing is just CRAZY! How is all that possible? How can women really do that and survive? The combination of strength and fragility is amazing. Beautiful.

It was such an honor to be allowed to record the events for Sylvia and Jake. It was such an honor to be allowed to experience that special event. I asked Sylvia and Jake if it is less special with the second. They responded that it wasn't. And I got it on tape, from their reactions you would think it was their first baby. The magic of childbirth only gets stronger.

An Adoption Story

2009-11-08T09:32:00.000-07:00

I received a distinct impression to write about a very sacred and personal life experience. I am not necessarily a guarded, secretive person who believes that mistakes or off color life moments should be buried away in the back of some long forgotten closet. On the other hand, I do think it wise to practice discretion regarding the time and place and people to whom one shares such experiences. With that said, I am choosing to post one of the most spiritual and heart wrenching moments of my life on a very impersonal and indiscrete blog. What a paradox.

On March 15, 2006 I signed away my parental rights to a beautiful, healthy baby girl that I would have named Hannah Elizabeth. I placed her in the arms of her new mother along with all my hopes and dreams for that little life. What trust I had in this good women to love her new baby as much I did, and to be willing to sacrifice her own desires to give every opportunity to that little girl. I was a mother for 2 days, and it was beautiful. I made one of the most difficult decisions a mother can make because I firmly believed that it was the best decision I could make as her mother.

Before I continue my story, I want to impress upon everyone reading this that my narrative is not an endorsement of adoption, but simply my journey, my decision, and the lessons I was able to forge from the whole process. The decision to place a child for adoption will always be so extremely personal, and it will not be the right decision for everyone regardless of the similarities of their situations. It is a decision that must be made with a combination of cold and hard logic, steady and meaningful prayer, as well as self interest and selflessness. It is not a decision to be made lightly or to be offered as a “solution”.

I was 24 years old and I wanted a baby. For my culture my biological clock was ticking and I didn’t have much time. So, I wasn’t careful and tadah! biology did its thing. Very soon after discovering I was going to have a baby after all, I understood that it wasn’t ONLY the baby I wanted but the whole package. I wanted a husband, a family. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to be a mom, I wanted my baby, but I did not want to be a single mother.

I began searching couples on an adoption website, reading their profiles, looking at pictures, emailing several. I also began figuring out how I was going to pay for a child. I didn’t have insurance and didn’t qualify for aid. I couldn’t live in student housing with a baby. Where would I live? Would I move in with family? The questions swirled as I worked on two different scenarios simultaneously: keeping the baby or placing the baby.

Long story short: I found a family with a mother that was the kind of mother I wanted to be. In essence, I found the closest resemblance to me that I could, to be the mother of my baby. She was great. I would have doubts about placing my baby and then I would read a new email from her and I would instantly feel at ease again.

She never made false promises. She was always honest and open. She was secure in her place as a mother and never threatened by my status as “birthmother.” She was my friend; genuinely interested in me and not just in “getting my baby.” I felt loved and respected.

My reasons for choosing adoption were largely influenced by my beliefs. I can not pretend that ones belief systems could not or should not play a key role in a decision as crucial as adoption. I believed that the best place for a child is in a two parent home. I wanted my baby to have a daddy. I wanted my baby to be able to be enrolled in sports, art, music, dance, and any other activity she wanted. I knew I would not be able to provide everything I wanted for her as a single mother with out an education or career. I also knew that it would be difficult for me to ever obtain my education while being a single mother. I wouldn’t be the example I wanted to be for my baby. I wanted to be the one to raise my child; I didn’t want to have my baby in daycare for 8 or 9 hours a day.

As the months passed, and I felt her kick, and saw her in the ultrasounds I cried almost every day. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to keep her! That was my baby, how could I just give away my baby that I had wanted so much? She was growing inside of me! I cried almost every night for several months. There would be days that I was too depressed to get out of bed and I would cry and cry.

The day before I gave birth, I still did not know what I was going to do. I drove to a place where I could feel God’s presence and hopefully gain inspiration of the right thing for me and my baby. I cried, and I prayed begging God to help me know the right choice to make. (This was one of many many prayers). Surprising to me, I felt that I could make either decision and we would be fine. My success and the success of my child were not contingent on this choice. I still didn’t know what I would do…but I knew that either way I wasn’t going to ruin her life or mine.

The day after giving birth I called the family and set the wheels for adoption in motion. The social services agent that I had been working with came to the hospital to give me a car seat and to fill me in on the paperwork process. My best friend was on the other side of the room holding my baby. I tried not to cry, but just hearing that I would sign my rights away, that she wouldn’t be mine anymore, that this decision was the final one that would severe all ties to my first baby, to the most wonderful thing I could ever create forever and completely was too much for me to handle. I could barely listen to the social worker because I couldn’t stop crying.

We drove to the agency to end my parental rights and severe the familial bond that had grown and gained strength over 9 months and for the 2 days in the hospital. The closer we got to the agency the harder I cried. I couldn’t stop. My heart was breaking and I was choosing this pain for myself. I was choosing to never hear her little sounds again. I was choosing to not see her grow, to not hear her voice, to not be in her life, and it hurt. It hurt me more than I ever thought I could hurt. I thought “I should have had an abortion. I should have ended it before I ever felt this.”

I think when we experience such deep, terrible, and unavoidable emotions the instinct is to reach for anything, any thought, any alternative that could have made it disappear. I had never once considered abortion. It is not in line with my personal beliefs, but I know I was reacting to the overwhelming pain that placing my child for adoption was causing me. At that moment in my agony I was reaching for any alternative, even one I would never have chosen, to create an illusion of comfort. But in reality, my only option was to face my decision, which meant accepting the pain my choice was causing. Even though I was driving to the agency and could have ended my suffering simply by changing directions, my mind was set. I do not remember making a conscious choice “I will place my baby for adoption,” but clearly the decision was made. It is not easy to place your child. It ripped out my heart to say goodbye to that precious little girl, to my beautiful little baby girl.

As I signed the paper work, I wept the entire time. I could barely see; the tears wouldn’t stop. The sobbing was coming from my belly as I read line after line telling me that I was no longer this baby’s mother. I was no longer a part of her life. I was a stranger. I had given her life, I had allowed her in this world, I was giving another couple the opportunity I had wanted! And yet I was signing my name that I would be nothing in my baby’s life…in that baby’s life….in their baby’s life. But that is the reality of it which can not nor should not be sugar coated. By placing my child for adoption I was agreeing that any part I played in her life would be dictated by her parents. If they chose to include me, great, if not, then that was great too. Being a birth mother to an adopted child does not and should not guarantee me some special set of rights. I knew that. I knew I was at the mercy of strangers to include me. I am at the mercy of the future desires of a someday adult if she wants to cultivate a relationship with her birthmother. But there are no guarantees. I have no rights to that relationship, I have no right to demand or expect it. I only have a hope.

Oh and how I hope! I hoped so many things for that little baby. I hoped and I prayed that she would be strong, smart, beautiful, funny, courageous, inquisitive, athletic, and creative and so much more! How I hoped that she would care to know about me when she was older, that she would care to make me a part of her life. But I knew that I might never realize any of those hopes. And that made me cry.

I spent a few minutes alone with my baby, saying goodbye, crying goodbye. Reminding her how much I loved her. How I would always love her, How it was my overwhelming love for her that gave me strength to say goodbye…forever. I assured her that her family would love her, that she would be happy with them, and that no one would love her more than her new mommy. I told her to never forget those things.

Somehow I stopped crying. I walked into the room where her new parents where waiting and as I placed their baby in the mothers arms, we embraced. It was the most beautiful experience for me. We were both holding her baby, and we were holding one another in a hug of love, compassion, gratitude, and a shared faith in a plan of salvation that bound us as family. I didn’t feel the need to cry anymore. The moment I saw the woman I had chosen to be the mother of my baby, I knew I made the right decision. I knew she would fulfill all the prayers I had for my baby. I knew she would be the kind of mother I wanted to be. I knew that the little baby we held together was safe with that woman as her mother.

Oh I still missed my baby. I did. I went home, laid my head on my mothers lap and said “oh I miss her.” Even though I was comforted in my decision, and even though I had confidence in her new mother, I really really missed my baby. I missed her little noises, her little ears and hands, I missed the way her long baby neck extended when she cried, I missed her sweet little mouth. I missed her so much. But I wasn’t sad. I didn’t cry anymore. There was emptiness, but it didn’t ache. My heart was healed by my wonderful experience with my baby’s new mother.

I have been a lucky birthmother. My family and their family met together for lunch the day after the adoption (baby not present). It was comforting for me to know that they were open and inclusive to their baby’s birth family. They were not scared, or intimidated. They were loving and understanding, and they were always grateful for the gift I had given them. My luck continued, my mother and I were invited to visit with the baby and her mother a few days later before they traveled back to their home state. I was able to hold her again, and feed her, and snuggle her, and hear her little noises. That was a blessing for me and my mother. It was sweet to say goodbye one last time.

I remained in contact with the family. I told them of my life, they told me of theirs. 3 months later, they made a special trip to visit me and I was able to hold and play with that precious little girl that I had given life to. I no longer referred to her as “my baby.” She was their baby. That was a reality that I had come to terms with before I even signed the paperwork. I believe that is one reason why I could not stop crying, I refused to lie to myself about the situation. She was not my baby any more.

Now 3 and ½ years later, my friendship with her family, especially her mother, has only become stronger. My own family has been able to build bonds of friendship with their family. They have visited one another on several occasions. We send gifts. They traveled to celebrate the birth of my sister’s baby. They came to my wedding and dressed in the colors of my immediate family. I gained more family from the adoption, I didn’t lose anything. Because my birth daughter is the age of my nieces and because I have a sisterly bond with her mother it felt natural to refer to her as my niece. I am lucky.

I do not believe my experience is typical, I think it is the ideal. But my experience is what is possible when we care about the feelings of others. When we are honest with ourselves and the position our choices place us in. I believe that that couple loved me for me, not only because I gave them a child. They cultivated a relationship with me because they cared for me, not simply as a means to get a baby. They never let my biological bond with their baby affect their knowledge that they are this child’s parents, and no amount of genetics can outweigh the love and sacrifice that they give as parents. They know that she can look at me as her birthmother but always know who her real mommy is. They are confident with their relationship with their child. It is their security, charity, confidence, and humility that has allowed our two families to cultivate and maintain a loving relationship. I can see all my hopes coming true because they are amazing!

Do not base a decision to place your child for adoption based solely on my experiences. Do not think it is easy. Do not expect to be a part of your child’s life. The realities must be faced with cold logic. The decision to keep your child will not be any easier. There are pains, struggles, and sacrifices in connection to motherhood. Neither decision will keep you from tears, or will guarantee happiness. Which is why such a decision should never be made lightly. It is not the right choice for everyone. I really believe that it could be more harmful for some people. This is a moment in ones life when brutal honesty is the only answer. I had to be brutally honest about my goals, my desires, my beliefs. I had to really look inside myself and deeply evaluate the course my life was one, where I wanted it to go, and how I thought it could get there. I had to honestly determine if a child would harm my goals and then I would become a hindrance in my own baby’s life. I had to think about all these things and so many more!

Adoption is not nor should it be considered an easy or fix all decision. It is a heartbreaking and painful process, one that I could never repeat, and yet it allowed some of the greatest blessings to come into my life. There are pro’s and con’s. I was very lucky to be guided to the perfect family for me.

Friends

2009-11-03T10:26:00.002-07:00

I think that it is so great to share friends with Loyd. I thought that once married your single friends just kind of disappear. And I guess we do hang out with ourselves more than our friends, but it is so fun to hang out with our friends.

Halloween we ate at Red Robin with Loyds two best men - Jack and Jack Sparrow(Najib) and it was great. I am so happy that I get along with his friends.

This past Sunday we hung out with Aubrey. She made us this potato pasta dish that is a favorite from Olive Garden. oooooh it was good! And that was fun too. We are able to just be normal like 3 friends and not be AngelaLoyd and other person. I am happy about that.

I guess the real test will be to see what our friends think. Maybe we are one of those annoying couples and that is why we hang out with ourselves so much. hahahaha.

Anyway, I love hanging out with our friends.

Another niece

2009-10-26T08:17:00.001-06:00

My sister Candida Bennett just gave birth to her 5th child, and my millionth niece Sunday morning at about 1am. YEAH! I love babies! When I talked with Candida yesterday she had not filled out paperwork yet, and the baby has not been blessed yet, so the name is tecnically still undetermined. But the consensus about their household is that the name is Estella. AAAAH! So cute. I love that name. She was 8lb and about 8oz (i think). And who knows how long.

But...Candida is doing great. Just relaxing in the hospital, taking her much needed break. Apparently Estella cried for the first two hours of her life. She swallowed ambiotic fluid. After they pumped her tummy she was fine.

So the next one is Sylvia in about 2 weeks. She is hoping for earlier than that. heehee. And then in February it is Camillas turn! WOW! 3 new babies in a few months. So much fun!

I love my kitchen appliances

2009-10-21T08:06:00.003-06:00

Loyd and I bought a food processor online a few weeks ago and I love it. It is one of my favorite kitchen appliances so far. I thought I loved my chopper (and I do) but the food processor cuts and mixes your food! it does it all for you. Its a blender and a chopper all in one. WOW!

So my new favorite things to make are hummus and salsa because the food processor makes both super fast and easy. Salsa used to take me forever with all the chopping chopping chopping. And the hummus! Forget about it! I made it in the blender and it was too thick for the blender to work. Not to mention Loyd was worried I would break it.

Get this, the cuisineart ones cost 40bones for a 3 cup one. We got our 4 cup refurbished one online for 19dollars and that included the shipping. Its one of those Bucky Lasky ones or whatever the chefs name is. Woolfgang Puck, thats it. Now I know how people can be such great chefs - they have amazing kitchen appliances!

I have to be honest. My all time favorite kitchen aid is my griddle. I can cook 8 large pieces of french toast at one time on that thing. I never realized how annoying cooking two (maybe 3 if I was lucky) pieces of french toast on a pan was. Ok, i realized it, but I had no choice. I knew griddles existed but I wasn't going to spend 40 dollars on one.

I came across mine as a freebe left over from one of my apartments and crazy enough, it sat in the shed unused for years. After Loyd and I were married I decided to whip it out for some reason. Fell in love after the first use. You can ask Loyd, I was telling everyone that would listen about my amazing griddle and how it made breakfast and grilled cheese etc so fast and easy!

We kept it on top of the fridge. We have a small place with lots and lots of stuff, so we make use of every single square inch of available space. Well I wasn't paying attention when I was putting it back, and it slipped between the fridge and the wall and it broke! I screamed... a lot. And of course I blamed Loyd for pulling the fridge so far from the wall. (There is a light switch right there and if we want to have access to it we have to pull the fridge out.)

I repented for blaming Loyd. About a week later, he said "Lets go shopping for a new griddle" hahaha like we were going to Six Flags or something. heehee. And yes, I was that excited. We went to BB &B, Target, and Wallie World and nothing. I had fallen in love with my specific griddle that had a certain surface etc. I didn't like any of the others. Loyd would ask how I liked this one or this one. I would look at them without any enthusiasm and say "Its ok. Get it if you like it" No No. Loyd knew I loved that griddle so we kept searching.

Loyd went online and found the new and enhanced version of the one we had had. Oh I love it. It still sits on the fridge but I am way more careful when putting it back. And yes, we have pushed the fridge back a little closer to the wall.

Loyd is sick

2009-10-20T14:32:00.003-06:00

Loyd has been sick for the past 7 days. Today is the 8th day. He thinks he has swine flu, I think he just has a bad cold. Regardless, he is still sick.

Last night he had a high fever that made him hallucinate that he was a giant machine that needed massive repairs. heehee.

Luckily, I haven't picked up what he has. I am knocking on wood and crossing my fingers and throwing salt about to continue my good luck and ward off Loyd's bad luck.

I never knew how boring Loyd could be when he is sick. He just wants to lay in bed and sleep all day. He occasionally makes a trip to the bathroom or to eat. I got him to play a game with me twice in the last week, so he is trying to not let his illness keep him totally down and out.

So pray for my baby. He needs his health restored so he can do his husbandly duty and entertain me. Seriously, I have been sooooo bored with him being sick. :) hahaha

Building the Kingdom of God

2009-10-07T11:48:00.002-06:00

I have been thinking what the phrase "Building the Kingdom of God" means. Instantly the thought of bringing people into the fold, sharing the gospel and having people baptized and then recieve all their saving ordinances was my answer. The natural course of my pondering led me to wonder HOW do we do that. Well, we proselytize, hoping that the spirit will be carried through our words. We also talk about being an example. We hold the family in high regard and we encourage family unity, love and support regardless of religious beliefs. So what else is part of this example we should be setting?

I have been thinking about President Monson's talk from Sunday first session General Conference. He talked about service, and serving in love. So when I think of how to be a good example and how to build the kingdom of God, I think I've got to practice what my religion preaches. I have to serve, I have to give, I have to support ideas and legislation that support love, equality, sharing, giving, and service. I have to truly reach out to the world (not just members of my church) and give.

Our church has an amazing humanitarian aid program that helps people all over the world regardless of their religion. Our local stakes, wards, and members should follow that example and reach out to our communities regardless of religious affiliation. We were reminded during conference to bare one anothers burdens. What does that mean, and who does it include? To me, it means we help shoulder the load that others carry whatever that may be. Whether it be financial, emotional, physical, or spiritual, etc. Of course what people need will be different, which is why we were also reminded several times during conference to seek the guidance of the spirit. It is not what we WANT to do for people, it is what THEY need. We no longer live in a cloistered community. We are and should be active participants in our society's and communities. We should be expanding our circle of influence and serving and bearing burdens and mourning and comforting ALL who stand in need of those things, not just the LDS.

I find it so easy for me to say "I paid my fast offering, now I am done." or "Well the Church helps its members" etc. No, fast offerings are not enough and we should care to help every person who needs help and not just pawn our responsibility off on the church as an organization. We should want to lift all up so that they may see what we believe. Pretty words and sentiments are hollow and pointless without our concerted efforts to make true on those promises of brotherhood, love, service, equality, and charity. As Elder Bednard pointed out, we should not be hypocrites. And I believe we should be examining our lives and actions constantly so that we do not fall into that trap.

Recently, the association for foreign exchange students at UVU was trying to raise money for a Mongolian girl who was diagnosed with lukemia. Luckily the hospital was willing to provide one month of chemo, but after that she would have to come up with the money. She could get a bonemarrow transplant that would give her a 60% chance of survival, but she has to pay the $350,000 up front. She went to the Hunstman cancer Institute, but they can not (or will not) help her because she is not an American citizen. She can not get help from Church because she is not affiliated with one. (For more information go to www.saveuvugirl.blogspot.com)

The Savior told us that when we serve, feed, clothe, etc THE LEAST OF THESE, that we do those things to God. Who is "the least of these"? Does that refer to an amount or status? I believe status. What kind of status? The least being the poorest or the less well known or the weakest? Sure, I think it could be looked at like that. But I think it also means the least of those who we think deserve it.

The least repentant, hard hearted, angry person needs love and forgiveness. The laziest or drunkest or drug abuser needs to be fed and clothed and given medical attention even if they put themselves in that position. The person who broke the most laws still needs to protected by the law. The person who gambeled away his house needs to be sheltered. Those who are not citizens need to be cared for and given all the assistance that citizens expect to receive.

I think of Gods warning that by the same judgment we cast on others we will be judged accordingly. What does that mean? yes, it means don't judge people, be charitable in thoughts etc. I think it also means, if we are willing to deny people ANYTHING because we do not agree with them or because we claim they do not deserve it, we stand in great jeopardy of that same thing happening to us one day. And I don't mean in the next life. If we are willing to pass judgment that a person or group of people is unworthy of healthcare, legal services, marriage, or choice ... then we must be aware that at anytime those tables can be turned where we are the ones that are no longer worthy.

I can only follow Gods commandment, love my neighbor as myself. Follow the Golden Rule, and NOT do to others what I DON'T want done to me. It doesn't matter what side of right I sit on, I can only love, give people their choice, and then catch them when they fall, love them more if they fall, and do all I can to heal their wounds. I don't want to be the one judging or deciding who is worthy of help and who isn't. So I will try to give it to all, to the very least of them. I will support ideas, movements, and legislations that promote love, giving, sharing, service, and charity. That is how I will build the kingdom of God.

Happy 3 Months! at Joe's Cafe

2009-09-26T21:45:00.000-06:00

Saturday September 19th was Loyd and my 3 month anniversary. To celebrate we went to Joe's Cafe on 1126 S State Street in Orem. This is a brand new diner, and it is good! They serve burgers and breakfast foods from 8am to 4pm Monday-Saturday.

Loyd had Joe's Ultimate burger and I had the biscuits and gravy and grits. OH MY! It was soooo good. I have had buscuits and gravy at several other restaurants while living here in Utah and I have never been satisfied. These mamajammas were AWESOME! And the grits are sweet and just the right thickness. Grits are a complex delicacy that can easily be ruined, but Joe's does a great job. I have also had one of is omelets! WOW!

Loyd's burger was great as well. My own personal rating on burger deliciousness is what I have termed the "Messy Scale". If while eating a burger you never have juices dripping from the burger, or over your knuckles, or down your chin, then you've just got scammed. A good burger leaves you wiping up after yourself. Joe's Ultimate Burger is a thick, juicy, messy delight!

But what is good homecooking without soul? without conversation? without atmosphere? Boring is what it is. Joe's wins again! Joe is a hilarious gentlemen who welcomes everyone in his diner. If there are people inside you will hear jokes and laughter! It is a laid back place with a small town feel where you don't feel rushed to eat your food or move out of the way. It's a great place. Loyd and I like to find any reason to eat there, hence our 3 month anniversary. haha

After Joe's we went to the mall specifically to find a photo booth. We took some great pics to record our fun day. Its great being married!

Wedding Photos!

2009-07-14T20:49:00.000-06:00

Here are a select 'few'. If you want the larger jpg images of any email me at loydo38 [at] ericsonhome [dot] net. There are also many images that we have not posted, if you have any family pics or others that you think we might have send me an e-mail as well, and we'll send you all that we think you might want.

Enjoy.

(Warning, there are a lot)

Camping

2009-07-13T16:29:00.003-06:00

Ang and I spent the weekend in a little campground east of Kamas where I went nearly every summer growing up, but had not seen in a dozen years. Angela will write more about the trip later.

Enjoy the photos.

The also-rans

2009-06-07T20:03:00.000-06:00

After we received our engagement photos back from our photographer, we spent over three hours trying to narrow down a favorite to use in for our invitation. Eventually we were able to narrow it down to seven or eight photos and made invitations with each of them to figure out which worked best. Out of the 9 drafts we made, we picked two to send mail out to our friends and family. Here are the also-rans which didn't win:

Engagement Photos

2009-06-01T23:54:00.000-06:00

Angela and I got our engagement photos back from our photographer today. Needless to say, we were VERY pleased with her skills. We tried to make the album smaller, but there were just too many that we liked.

katherine loveless photography

Less than 3 weeks

2009-05-31T12:14:00.000-06:00

Crunch time is coming in.

Angela caught a ride to Claremont a week and a half ago to attend my conference presentation and help me get all of my things back to Utah. I couldn't have done it without her. While I was attending most of the conference, Angela stayed in my apartment packing up all of my things and cleaning up--which I guess she owed me, since I have helped her move and clean on a couple other occasions. On Sunday, we packed up my car and a rental van, and set off on our ten hour return drive back to Utah.

This last week has been super busy, but productive. Even though I've got my seminar almost every day and Ang has school three days of the week, we have been able to get a lot of things accomplished. We finally fixed and registered my car, figured out how I am going to look at the wedding, renewed my drivers license, had a nice dinner with my fellow seminarians and their families, finally took our engagement photos, and a few other things.

The best part of the week though was a surprise birthday party Angela threw for me Thursday night. After looking for some of my wedding-day clothes, we went back to where Angela is staying and there were all of my closest friends to celebrate my big 3-0. Wow I'm old. I can't say it was a total surprise, as Ang apprently isn't the best at hiding this sort of thing, but I was surprised by how many of my close friends were there. It was great.

We should hopefully be getting some of our engagement photos back today so we can design our invitations and get them out soon. Getting them into the mail will be a huge relief.

It's great to be back with Angela permanently this time. I hated only getting to see her for a week or less at a time.

Gift Registry

2009-05-31T11:58:00.000-06:00

We are registered at both Target and Bed Bath &Beyond. You can access our registry at the links below:

Target

Bed Bath & Beyond

ONE MONTH!

2009-05-19T13:58:00.000-06:00

Today marks our negative one month wedding anniversary.

I'm still in California after having just finished my semester, and am trying to pack as well as write a paper which I'm presenting at a conference this weekend--all before Angela arrives here tomorrow to help me get all of my things back to Utah on Sunday. With as busy as things have been for me these past couple weeks, they are only going to get busier when we get back. Angela is still in school three days a week and I begin a seminar at BYU on Tuesday which will occupy four days a week for me. Between all of that we still need to get our engagement photos and invitations sent out, find me a suit, register for gifts, get a marriage certificate and a dozen other things that we have yet to do--as well as a myriad of other things that I must do upon moving back to Utah.

Luckily, I've got a great special someone do to this all with. It's going to be great not having this 600 mile divde separating us anymore.

Reception Info

2009-04-28T20:21:00.000-06:00

Our reception will be held Friday June 19th from 7:00 to 10:00 p.m. at an outdoor pavilion behind an LDS Church building located at 9260 S. Quail Run in Sandy.

Directions to the reception can be found using the map below.

View Larger Map

Wedding Cake

2009-04-25T16:05:00.001-06:00

This is the idea for the wedding cake. Mine will be three tiers with a little bit of gold thrown in and the icing will be cream colored cream cheese icing. Delicious right? I am so excited! I think it is funny that I am really not that into flowers but I will more than likely have them on my cake. Hmmm....well i love icing roses!

A great week so far

2009-04-25T15:35:00.000-06:00

I flew into Utah a week ago to visit Angela and take care of some of our wedding plans. While our plans were a little hindered by Ang's heavy school load, we managed to to get at least two major things accomplished. As Angela has already written about, with the help of her sister Angela got the wedding dress of her dreams. I know I'm not supposed to see her in it before the wedding, but she couldn't stop herself from stepping out of her room to show me how she looked in it.... and let me tell you, she looks AMAZING.

Another big item we have been able to check off on our list was picking out a photographer. This has been a difficult choice as Angela and I do not want to have the standard wedding photographs that most couples get and were trying to find a photographer with the right eye and creativity that we had in mind. Unfortunately most photographers who fit that bill also cost a lot of $$$$. Luckily, a friend of mine had a friend who recommended Katherine Loveless to me. After looking over her photos, I was praying that her costs would at least be below $2500, to my utter surprise, she was well below that, and was actually less expensive than most other photographers we had seen. On Thursday, we drove out to Mapleton to meet Katherine and left VERY excited to have her as our photographer. Driving back to Provo afterwards, Ang and I both commented to eachother about how much of a weight it felt like had just been taken of our shoulders.

Beyond those things, our week included picking out a family friend to help make our cake; single-handedly mixing, wrapping, and cooking five dozen gyozas for Ang while she studied; all you can eat animal flesh at Tuscanos with a couple of friends; sneaking in to see Robert Downey Jr. and Jamie Foxx; post-poning a bunch of other wedding demands until I return in a month; a delicious puu-puu platter; and a lot of cuddling.

I'm not looking forward to returning to California in a couple days to slave away at my own studies before my semester ends.